The Anxiety Gremlin

Anxiety.
It’s not a light switch. You can’t turn it on and off.
If you’ve ever experienced an anxiety attack, then for a few, short and frightening moments, you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t think. You can’t do anything but be a prisoner to your own thoughts. And it tears you up inside.
Just because somebody smiles on the outside, doesn’t mean they’re happy on the inside. On the inside, they could be crying, but they’re afraid to let you see that gruesome side of them.
Every day is a constant battle of your brain. Whether you feel like today is going to be a good day, or a bad day. It all depends on that evil little gremlin that sits inside you and taunts you.

Not every day is normal.

Not every day is going to be a good day.

When you wake up and think, “is today the day i’m going to screw up, get fired, and have to give up my dream because it’s too expensive to publish a book?”

Want to know how I know?

Because I struggle with this.

Every.

Single.

Day.

That’s my overwhelming fear. I go to work every single day, and pray to the god’s that I don’t do screw up and get fired. Should I feel like that? Absolutely not. But I can’t help it.
My brain is running a mile a minute all the time. I can’t turn my brain off.

We’re constantly told to “stop overthinking” and “don’t let it bother you so much.” Or my absolute favorite, “don’t take things so personally.”

Anyone who has anxiety, or in my case a very sensitive person, knows the struggle.
I live my day to day life just like everybody else…except for one minor difference.
My anxiety gremlin follows me everywhere I go. And I would love nothing more than to kick his ass to the curb.

So can it be turned off?

No.

Remember that.

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